People are doing very stupid things on the internet and it can be pretty annoying. Facebook is currently the best place to find such stupid things. One thing that annoys me is when people post vague statuses on Facebook. After reviewing my news feed, I have to put up with posts like "I've been a bad, bad girl," which really means "I jaywalked." It's even worse when people start getting all emotional and post stupid statuses that are so dramatic. For example, I have a friend on Facebook who is the queen of posting stupid, emo statuses. He's a guy. Also gay, if it makes anything better. Anywho, he'll post statuses that I can't help but roll my eyes at, such as, "I got to hold you tightly in my arms and I never wanted to let go, but I wanted to set you free because I love you." I know what he's really trying to say is, "I'm really clingy and now you've run away." Why can't people just post what they really mean, instead of trying to come up with a stupid fucking metaphor for their situation? I would never post a stupid status, like "This feeling so familiar inside me. You make me dizzy. You make me do things I never would have thought before. At first everything feels so right, but when the sun comes up, you give me nothing but pain." when I really mean, "I'm drinking." Unfortunately, this is only one of the things I have a major problem with. What's more annoying is when people post one word statuses that sound like something really bad happened when it's not even a big deal. For example, if someone posts "Fuck man, I hate this feeling." I don't wanna be worried for nothing and find out that the person is sleepy. I would never post a status saying "ugh..." when what I really want to say is "These better not be warts."
Another annoying thing is all of the acronyms people use to describe reactions towards something. It started off with LOL but then people started getting creative and began to use ROFL or LMFAO or even ROFLMMFAO. I don't know who has the time to type ROFLMMFAO if they're supposedly rolling on the floor. However, nothing is worse than the original LOL not only because I doubt that people aren't actually LOLing when they type it, but half the time people shouldn't be LOLing when it's typed. I understand that sometimes we all get on Facebook chat and read something funny from someone else that doesn't actually make us laugh out loud, but it was still pretty witty anyway. Those have my approval for an LOL, but most times people use it like a period. I was on aim the other day talking to a friend and I felt like almost every message ended in LOL. This is a dramatization of what I had to go through:
Me: Hey, bitch ass.
Idiot: Hey lol
Me: you goin out tonight?
Idiot: no, I have no money lol
Me: that sucks. go to crib. free before midnight.
Idiot: but I won't have alcohol! lol
Me: sucks to be you
Idiot: bitch lol
Me: I know
Idiot: come pick me up!!! lol
Me: k. lemme get my magic carpet.
Idiot: yay! lol
Me: shut up
Idiot: lol
Obviously, I put LOL at the end of Idiot's instant messages, making the use seem exaggerated, but people actually do this. Why?! Not having money is not something I would LOL at. Furthermore, not having alcohol is especially not a laughing matter. I don't know what's wrong with these people cyber laughing all the time, but it needs to stop.
Not only do people use it after almost every sentence on the internet, but I find that a lot of people are using it to lighten up something that may sound harsh as well. That is something I will never understand. If it sounds harsh, that's a good thing. That's the type of shit that will personally make me LOL. Personally, ending a sentence with LOL to lighten things up only makes it sound stupid. Can you imagine if everyone ended everything with LOL after saying something heavy? Some of my favorite possibilities are:
"Grandpa died. LOL"
"I guess you were right. It wasn't precum. It was gonorrhea. LOL"
"Caesar, I drank your vodka. LOL"
Look, I understand that LOL is a huge part of the cyber lingo and I'm not trying to encourage that we all stop using it altogether. I'm just saying people need to stop using it as much and need to especially stop using it to lighten things up. If something is funny, but doesn't make you laugh, just put a smiley face or something. And if you really want to lighten something up how about saying something like, "I don't really mean to hurt your feelings, but you look like Oprah."
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
About Me: Please, Don't Speak For Yourself
Ever since I started logging on to gay social networking sites, I always find a common theme every time I'm online: lies. Men like to lie about their weight, their age, their penis size, and even have the audacity to post false or misleading pictures. I tend to ignore weight because it doesn't tell me whether it's 150 pounds of gym muscle or 150 pounds of Mexican food. At the same time, I ignore age because there are men out there who look younger than their age. I still befriend those who look older than their age because they might have become that way from taking copious amounts of alcohol or ecstasy.
However, something I always remain cautious about is a user's photo. There are times when it's obvious when the user has posted a picture that isn't recent, especially when the quality of the photo is very vintage. Also, it is pretty obvious that the picture is false altogether when the quality is pixelated or too good to be true. Honestly, I don't see the point of posting a picture that isn't you at all. The only thing it really achieves is probably giving me an idea of who I have to think about if I plan on having sex with the impostor. I don't know much, but I know those users aren't going to get very far so I wish them luck on finding Helen Keller's great great homo grandson.
Granted, there are times when a user will post a picture of themselves, but it won't be the portion that I want to see, such as their genitals or their shoes. I understand that some people have a foot fetish, but I've never heard of a sneaker fetish. Either way, I'm more inclined to chat with a user who has a picture with their face on it. Shirtless pictures get bonus points whether they're fit or not because it lets me know if I should be flirty or friendly.
Aside from men lying about their image, the worst part about viewing a user's profile is the username or 'about me' section. This gives them the liberty to name themselves something blatantly misleading. For example, a Chinese man's username could be "10 inches" or a black man's username could be "honest Abe." Of course, if I wanted to have a misleading username for my own profile it would be "virgin" or "pure." In all honesty, I have logged on to some gay social networking sites and viewed profiles where there's a picture of an old, fat man who's username was stud55. Obvioulsy, him and I have two different definitions of the word 'stud.' I didn't double check, but if there's anything honest about his profile it was probably the '55' because it was probably the year he was born in.
The 'about me' section is an extended version of the username where users get the chance to talk more about how amazing they are in bed or how beautiful their penis is. I hate it when users have the most foolish descriptions, such as "good-looking" and "nice cock." Shouldn't I be the judge of that? Have you ever had your own cock up your own ass? If you have, then please let me know your secret so I can save myself from a lot of trouble. The point is, we all have different interpretations of what is 'good-looking' or a 'nice cock.' If you ask me, 'good-looking' tends to rule out 95% of Asians and 'nice cock' tends to be a man who is cut or African-American.
I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I am saying I'm honest. I want to put that I'm funny, outgoing, and love to party. Instead, I put that I want to make you laugh, I'm loud, and I'm an alcoholic. This would probably explain why I don't get very many replies in my inbox.
However, something I always remain cautious about is a user's photo. There are times when it's obvious when the user has posted a picture that isn't recent, especially when the quality of the photo is very vintage. Also, it is pretty obvious that the picture is false altogether when the quality is pixelated or too good to be true. Honestly, I don't see the point of posting a picture that isn't you at all. The only thing it really achieves is probably giving me an idea of who I have to think about if I plan on having sex with the impostor. I don't know much, but I know those users aren't going to get very far so I wish them luck on finding Helen Keller's great great homo grandson.
Granted, there are times when a user will post a picture of themselves, but it won't be the portion that I want to see, such as their genitals or their shoes. I understand that some people have a foot fetish, but I've never heard of a sneaker fetish. Either way, I'm more inclined to chat with a user who has a picture with their face on it. Shirtless pictures get bonus points whether they're fit or not because it lets me know if I should be flirty or friendly.
Aside from men lying about their image, the worst part about viewing a user's profile is the username or 'about me' section. This gives them the liberty to name themselves something blatantly misleading. For example, a Chinese man's username could be "10 inches" or a black man's username could be "honest Abe." Of course, if I wanted to have a misleading username for my own profile it would be "virgin" or "pure." In all honesty, I have logged on to some gay social networking sites and viewed profiles where there's a picture of an old, fat man who's username was stud55. Obvioulsy, him and I have two different definitions of the word 'stud.' I didn't double check, but if there's anything honest about his profile it was probably the '55' because it was probably the year he was born in.
The 'about me' section is an extended version of the username where users get the chance to talk more about how amazing they are in bed or how beautiful their penis is. I hate it when users have the most foolish descriptions, such as "good-looking" and "nice cock." Shouldn't I be the judge of that? Have you ever had your own cock up your own ass? If you have, then please let me know your secret so I can save myself from a lot of trouble. The point is, we all have different interpretations of what is 'good-looking' or a 'nice cock.' If you ask me, 'good-looking' tends to rule out 95% of Asians and 'nice cock' tends to be a man who is cut or African-American.
I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I am saying I'm honest. I want to put that I'm funny, outgoing, and love to party. Instead, I put that I want to make you laugh, I'm loud, and I'm an alcoholic. This would probably explain why I don't get very many replies in my inbox.
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